


The Internet Thinks...

by truelyesoteric



Series: Not Quite Slash [2]
Category: CW Network RPF
Genre: M/M, not quite slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-14
Updated: 2014-03-14
Packaged: 2018-01-15 15:38:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1310119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truelyesoteric/pseuds/truelyesoteric
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is an actual conversation that happened in early season two. If you believe that…well um…please send me money</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Internet Thinks...

**Author's Note:**

> LJ repost circa 2009
> 
>  
> 
> a/n: So some background on this. I hadn't slept in two days and I had to meet people in two hours, and I was sooo bored. Suddenly the fanfic god smiled upon me and the line "The Internet thinks we're fucking." struck me blind. Once I could see again I wrote this and killed two hours.

"The internet thinks we're fucking," Jared announced flinging himself into the chair with all great aplomb.

Jensen tried to ignore him, “Dear lord who gave you pixie sticks.”

Jared thrust papers in his face, “The internet thinks you’re wooing me and having very great sex.”

And really the note he reached on ‘wooing’ sounded like a twelve year old girl.” 

“The internet apparently thinks we have more free time than we do,” Jensen muttered, “I don’t have the time to woo you or the energy to fuck you.”

“I am a great lay,” Jared said haughtily, “The internet says I am and I have a huge cock.”

Jensen counted to three. He loved Jared, but right now he hated Jared more than he could ever remember hating anything more.

"The internet thinks Sam and Dean are fucking," Jensen pointed out, not looking up from his script, "They're batshit insane. Stay away from the internet." 

Jared leaned over his chair, into Jensen's personal space, "They are fucking." 

Jensen looked up from his script so quickly his neck snapped, “You think the CW is putting on a show about Gay Incestious Brothers traveling the country, killing demons?”

Jared just nodded, “Ever since the pilot. That is how I played it. You know that scene where I am all like this is my girl now with Adrienne. I was totally, like you are being replaced, that is what you get for not taking my side, but I’m still totally wanting your love and approval and penis.”

“You are so lying,” Jensen sneered.

Jared leaned back and put his hands behind his head, “I’m method.”

Jensen let out a snort, “You were not method then. You were more like oh I’ll kiss the lead actress or scream like a girl as I die.”

“I do not scream like a girl,” Jared squacked, honestly offended.

“I bet the internet thinks you do,” Jensen teased.

Jared clutched his papers to his chest, “This is why the internet thinks you are horrible and mean and ugly.”

“The internet does not think that,” Jensen scoffed.

“The internet thinks that I am beautiful and smart and have a huuuge dick,” Jared said haughtily.

Jensen went back to his script, “You do know that the internet doesn’t actually think for itself, its actually a bunch of girls and a few guys in various countries with computers.”

Jared gasped, “Don’t lie about the internet. I believe in the internet.”

“Yes, let me tell you the one about Skynet,” Jensen rolled his eyes.

For a moment Jared was blessedly silent.

“We should fuck,” Jared said, “It sounds like fun.”

Jensen threw up his script in disgust. He knew silence was a bad thing on Jared.

“It would give au-then-ticity to the characters,” Jared drawled, “We could be method.”

“Dean and Sam are not fucking,” Jensen said through gritted teeth, “We are NOT fucking. You ARE NOT METHOD.”

Jared was a little taken aback by Jensen’s vehemence.

Jensen picked up his script and enjoyed the silence.

Then he got annoyed by it.

“Fine,” Jensen growled, “I’ll think about fucking you.”

Jared let out a hoot.

 

The Q&A

Q: Jared doesn't really seem to understand what method acting is.

A: Can you state your question in the form of a question.

 

Q: Yes Alec, Jared doesn't really seem to understand what method acting is?

A: I hate you. Jared is evidently confused. However it doesn't reflect on me at all because I don't know what it is exactly.

 

Q: What are pixie sticks?

A: Flavored sugar. Basically legal crack.

 

Q: What is Skynet?

A: The corporation that is going to build machines that take over the world. Don't fear its only in the movies. Watch Terminator. 

 

Q: Which part of season two is this?

A: I'm not privy to that information. This conversation was recorded by my "sources" who videocam Jensen and Jared at every turn.

 

Q: Can I get mez some vdz?

A: Learn how to type. And no. It is for me and me only.

 

Q: R U surez?

A: I'm going to slap you. 

 

Q: I would love to indulge myself in some visual video that features Mr. Jensen Ackles and Mr. Jared Padalecki of Supernatural, a show about two brothers facing the forces of the unknown, is there any way that you would be so kind as to share with their faithful viewers?

A: No.


End file.
